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Can You See The Margin?
by Sue Miley
Recently, I was reflecting on my life and how different it is today compared to several years ago. I knew the contrast was dramatic because my "reflection time" was taking place as I walked down a country road with my 8-month-old miniature dachshund amidst the wild flowers and neighboring dogs. Actually, I wasn’t walking, I was strolling. Five years ago, I am not sure I even knew how to stroll. Five years ago, this kind of reflection would have taken place on a busy interstate between Baton Rouge and New Orleans. I probably would have been weaving in and out of traffic; praying it wouldn't take an hour to get to my destination.
As I walked (I mean strolled), I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving and gratitude to Jesus for blessing me. I wondered about what had happened; what I had done differently. In the past, I don't remember having the ability to say, "no", and I was not able to keep my life in balance.
I know that it is the Lord who has brought me to this new place in my life, this new stage. I want to understand what has happened in order to share it with others. To aid me in my understanding; God put a DVD in my path. It was about “margins”. This DVD described how people in our society no longer have margins – emotional, physical, time and financial margins. The difference in my life became clear. I now have "margin" – at least as far as time and emotions are concerned.
I used to live my life with zero margins in the areas of time and emotions. Looking back, I scheduled “life” from 5:00 a.m. until 11:00 p.m. (or midnight) every night. I was physically and emotionally running on fumes. Since choosing to follow Jesus Christ, some margins have begun to creep into my life. Today, I want to share a few ways this happened:
- Conviction from the Holy Spirit – The Holy Spirit arrived and started questioning my heart every time I chose to spend time away from my family, going places that were not family- friendly, or doing activities that may not have honored God. By gradually eliminating these activities, many hours a week were freed up and an obvious by-product was a closer relationship with my husband and kids.
- Jeremiah 29:11 – I learned that God has a plan for me. Well, if God (the Creator of the Universe) has a plan for you it would only make sense to try it out. My "plan" was providing only stress and disappointment. I felt a strong calling to change careers and become a counselor. To accomplish this, I was faced with several life-changing decisions, but they all created more margin in the process. We sold our too expensive home. I quit the business world and went back to graduate school. Now, I had more time available to pursue God’s plans.
- Proverbs 3:5-6 - Look to the Lord in all you do….and He will keep your paths straight. I learned to ask, "How should I fill my time now, Lord?" He focused my time on volunteering at my church and spending time with my children. Today, in addition to my private practice with MTA, I am part of the staff of River Community Church . Additionally, my family found a hobby that we could incorporate into our lifestyle – horseback riding.
- Community with fellow believers – Over time, I have been blessed to be a part of several small groups, I work with fellow believers, and I have been able to overlap several areas of my life so that time spent with one area also includes another. For example, I work at the church where my family and friends are participants. So, many times I spend time at work and see a friend or family member. Many times, my social settings include someone I work with.
The idea of "margin" is that if something unexpected or unplanned comes up, or if I make the habitual mistake of over-committing, I have room now to absorb it. I may have a few tiring days and miss a few leisurely strolls, but I don’t break down. I don’t have to break other commitments and disappoint the people I love. (Well, maybe my puppy is disappointed.) I am more rested and more focused so emotionally I am better able to handle disappointments or attacks from Satan.
I wish I could say that I was consciously going after "margin" in my life. To be honest, I just figured out that this is the key difference. I was going after Christ. In my pursuit of Him, margin crept in. Isn’t that amazing? In my effort to do the things that would honor God, not disappoint Him, I actually gained life. Thanking Him is so humbling because it isn’t enough for what He has done for me. So for now, all I can do is to continue to listen to Him and to follow His plan and guidance. Today, His plan includes country roads; tomorrow—only He knows.
Sue J. Miley is a Life Coach and a Licensed Professional Counselor with twenty years of experience with starting businesses and divisions with an entrepreneurial approach. . If you enjoyed this article and are interested in more articles by this author and other free resources please visit our website www.crossroadcoach.com.
Counseling & Coaching Available: Call Sue J. Miley @ 225-252-2202.
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